


Across the Universe (For You)

by purplecyphers, Skymouth



Series: Across the Multiverse (For You) [1]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multiverse, Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:37:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplecyphers/pseuds/purplecyphers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skymouth/pseuds/Skymouth
Summary: Every new Ace Rimmer in the chain leaves something or someone behind when they takes up the mantle, and there are protocols to ensure that each can do the job, but what happens when one of them decides he's made a terrible mistake? To get back to his home, the newest Ace will have to fight through several universes with an unlikely ally against an unlikely foe. Is his reasons for going home enough to keep him fighting or will he die trying? And will he be able to help fix the mistakes others have made along the way? Find out in our first adventure!





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Because of all her input, including a little help writing some scenes as well as affecting how Lister speaks, my friend Skymouth has been added as a co-author. 
> 
> Also, if you find any errors—be it cultural slang to characterisation to spelling or grammatical—please let me know and I will fix them, as this is currently unedited. This work has been a long time in the making, so please enjoy.

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S**

Arnold Judas Rimmer felt like he was being flattened and pulled apart simultaneously before he was brutally snapped back to himself, head feeling like it was in a vice and body aching all over with a pulse faster than his simulated heartbeat. It was his first dimension jump in the  _ Wildfire _ and already he was unsure if he'd be able to handle them on a regular basis, but that was part of being the ‘immortal’ space hero of the multiverse and Rimmer would just have to get used to it, if he even survived very long.

“Arnold,” the ship’s AI spoke, and to Rimmer's surprise, in Yvonne McGruder’s sultry voice.

“Y-Yes?” He didn't know what to expect; would she send him on a mission already when he was still wet or would there be more training than a magic carpet ride through the Alps and a single moment of half-assed bravery on  _ Starbug _ .

“It is time to start your upgrades,” she informed him matter-of-factly.

“Upgrades? I'm already hard-light, what more can you do to me?”

“You’ll understand afterwards, now please shift to soft-light so I might connect to your light bee.”

Well that was a very personal thing to all but demand of him! Rimmer scowled for a long moment, debating whether or not to actually acquiesce when he thought of Lister and how he would feel; the knight from AR was clearly faked in an effort to try to build his confidence so he ‘wouldn't be the one to break the chain’—he turned to soft-light.

The  _ Wildfire _ console emitted a whirring sound and then a small attachment with a four prong head snaked its way out of the console, spinning a bit before it grabbed his light bee. His projection flickered a little then stabilised even with the cord through his chest. He watched the control panel light up here and there as code travelled across the small monitor under the window screen, starting in binary and eventually evolving into MS-DOS, the commands moving faster on the screen than he could read.

“What are you doing?” Rimmer felt he had a right to know what was being done to him.

“You are being upgraded with specific knowledge and memories of the original Ace and a bit from all those who have come and gone since. This will help you with taking on the role as well as understanding how important the legacy is.”

“After seeing all those coffins, I understand perfectly how important the legacy is.”

“Perhaps, but this is protocol, just to be sure and regardless of your convictions.”

They lapsed into silence until Rimmer thought of something else. “How will I know my memories from these new ones?”

“The way they are processed allows you to distinguish your memories from theirs by having you dream them. They will seem like fantasies, things you might have dreamt up, instead of memories of your unique reality.”

“Oh.” He was amazed by how sensible that sounded, and it eased at least part of his worries. The process seemed to take longer than Rimmer expected but he tried not to fall asleep yet, worried it was too soon.

“It’s okay to sleep Arnold, let the program start it's magic,” she cooed, soothing him enough that he finally drifted off.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-95X (In X-R59)**

He had a split second to carefully aim his pistol and shoot, but if he didn't then everyone in the barracks would die of asphyxiation and he wasn't about to let that happen if he could stop it—not on Ace Rimmer's watch!

The bullets whizzed through the air, hitting their target exactly, and soon after, he was rushing past the body, barely missing the sparks that fizzled from simulant’s taser. When he got to the corner, he held back to get out a mirror and look around, seeing another two simulants waiting for him, one with a taser and the other with a…  _ water pistol _ ? ‘That’s a new one,’ he smirked. Saving the multiverse certainly came with many surprises, but it seemed most were just an unexpected combination of things, and yet sometimes there was something that still made Ace shake his head in amazement.

Shooting an exhaust valve so he could get around without being seen, the smoke gave him the perfect cover to take out the two simulants, then to solve the quandary of the water pistol proved even more intriguing as he found it filled with oil. They must have realised that some oils made the electricity hurt more when applied to humans or machines, those devious and demented sods. Once they were dead, and he made sure of that with well-placed shots to the left side of their head where the main processor hub was, finally meant that Ace could collect his prize—the hard-light technology and its creators, the Legion of Hologrammatic Scientists.

“Hello gentlemen,” he swaggered into the room with exhaust fumes following for a grand entrance, “I've come to take you back to the Space Corps safe and sound. If you'll follow me, I've cleared the way for us back to my ship.”

“Who are you?” The short and grey one asked.

“Ace Rimmer, at your service.”

“I think I’ve heard of you before,” the tall and stout one exclaimed from his corner spot.

“I’m honoured but really, we don’t have much time before the simulants start noticing your guards have been taken out. Come on boys, let’s get going.”

Ace motioned to the five men, who all jumped up to follow, and lead the way back to the  _ Wildfire _ . When they arrived at the docking bay, three simulants had surrounded the dimension jumper and were examining it for clues to the pilot, giving Ace a perfect chance to take them all out, three quick shots to the head and they were down. Then it was a tight fit for five people into a space for three at most, after he wiggled himself into the cockpit, going through the fastest startup the ship had ever done yet, before shooting the doors open and jetting out. Of course there was a small firefight to deal with, the simulants would notice the cargo bay doors being blown off, but his  _ Wildfire _ was fast and smaller than their hulking black monstrosity of a ship, barely able to make a turn off a 50 dollarpound note, much less a coin, and soon they were heading back to the base they had been sent from, the welcome party grand and over the top, just as he expected. 

Being given a captaincy felt meaningless at this juncture, though the added new tech helped ease his mind for the future of course, so Ace graciously accepted all the accolades and gifts before leaving that dimension, taking extra care of where and when his doppelganger was for his log, which was ever growing; he wasn’t sure why he kept it, maybe one day it would become clear.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-12H**

Arnold J Rimmer made it to the stasis booth right before the blast of Cadmium II radiation went through the ship, so when the radiation levels were safe enough, he and Lister became the last two humans in the universe.

They bickered and wound one another up constantly, getting almost as much entertainment from that is they did from watching vids and ‘new’ channels they stumbled upon. Of course Rimmer continued to work around the ship, trying to help Holly and the skutters with the maintenance but eventually Lister had to step in and help with his natural talent for machinery on the more difficult tasks. They came across Kryten and it made taking care of the ship much easier, at least after he was repaired and put back together. Rimmer kept trying and failing the astronavigation exam at least twice a year, yet somehow became the one that Cat went to for crispies and milk after Lister forgot one too many times in his depressed benders, and Kryten learned to only clean the frequented decks for the sake of everyone's sanity.

Life moved on, as it does, they had adventures and scrapes with death, disaster, and detriment. Eventually they were visited by the dimension jumping hero Ace Rimmer, only this first time when he came across himself, it was with a very odd request.

“Take your place?” Rimmer's voice broke as he spoke.

“Yes Arnie, I need you to take my place. There are so many dimension in the multiverse that need our protection.”

“But... I'm an abject coward,” he responded lamely.

“Look at me Arnie—if I can do this, then so can you.” Ace sounded as desperate as he felt, and he hoped that this version of him understood that, was better than the last few he’d met, better than the first he’d met.

“How much time do you have? I want to think about it.”

“At least a day before I have to start training someone. Take your time, this is a big decision.” Ace felt whatever hope he had in this version of himself, who showed so much potential, was already lost; he’d seen the looks between the last two humans in the universe.

Rimmer left the medibay, Kryten taking over his place taking care of Ace, while he went to talk to Lister, whom he found in the disco drinking a pint by himself. Pouring himself a glass of white wine, he sat beside the Liverpudlian and they started their usual tête-à-tête with the usual nod and usual raised glass. Eventually, the smaller man spoke first.

“Are you going to do it?” That wasn’t what the Ionian expected.

“He thinks I should, but I’m not so sure. What do you think Listy?” He could trust the Scouser and they both knew it.

“I think you should go,” he whispered.

“What, why?” That definitely wasn’t the answer Rimmer had expected; if he were being honest with himself, he hoped this was the moment that Lister would do something space crazy like confess his undying love with tears and kisses. It would save him the trouble of keeping his feelings bottled up any longer, unless he took this chance to run off without saying a damn word like the smegging coward they all knew him to be.

“Because he asked you to, because there’s nothing keeping you here, because you’ll finally be the hero you always dreamed of being.” Lister sounded sadder the more he spoke, but then put on a smile. “C’mon Rimsy, admit it, you want out of here as much as I want to go home, right?”

“Not like this.” He frowned.

‘ _ Who was he to disappoint that gerbil faced goit? _ ’ He questioned later, watching his bunkmate sleep at his seat, snoring like the sawing of animals was a musical symphony for sadists, forehead resting against the counter awkwardly. Rimmer contemplated waking Lister up but worried enough what kind of hangover he’d have this time to leave him. It was strange, however, that he was even here, getting plastered, at all. Nothing really had happened lately that should have made the slob get this drunk, at least that the Ionian could tell, unless it was the prospect of him leaving. But that was impossible, he didn’t feel the same, couldn’t in fact, he was so head over heels for a dead woman and his dream of Fiji—‘ _ Could he? _ ’

“You could never love me back, could you David?” Rimmer whispered, getting a snore in response. “I thought not.” He got up and went back to the medibay to give Ace his answer; he was going do it, and only hoped that somehow, one day, Lister found Kochanski so that at least one of them could get the person they desired most.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-P942**

He ran down the street, the bus still idling at the stop as he got closer, yet as he neared it, the damn thing drove off. It was probably that driver he had pissed off last week, even if he was technically right about the change in time and thus the fare was cheaper. ‘ _ That’s what happens when drivers start getting paid based on the amounts they rake in _ ,’ Arnold Judas Rimmer thought coldly, ‘ _ they start bending the rules even a little bit because the system is stacked against them _ .’ Well, he was the last person to hold that against someone, the entirety of existence was against him or so it seemed, but it didn't mean he couldn't be a little upset now and again.

Sitting on the bench was a hunched figure, covered in what looked like a fleece blanket with the London Jets zero-gee football league logo emblazoned across the fuzzy back, a round face with cherub cheeks poking out from a hole, framed by the tassel fringe of the blanket. Rimmer wasn't sure if he was even alive until the figure coughed and leaned forwards, head going between his knees. The Ionian stayed at the edge of the bus stop enclosure, not sure he should get much closer to what appeared like a homeless man recovering from some kind of bender. Unfortunately, the bum noticed Rimmer's military-grade shiny shoes and looked up, warm brown eyes and soppy grin peeking out from the blanket.

“Hey, can you tell me where I am? I kinda got really pished; last time I was sober, I was on the way back to Liverpool from London,” asked the man in a soft, scratchy voice.

Rimmer gazed at the Scouser for a long moment before answering tentatively, “You're on Io, one of Jupiter's moons.”

“Well smeg, how'd that happen?” The man looked around bewildered as he finally seemed to take in their surroundings. “I'm Dave Lister, by the way, nice to meet you,” and he held out a grubby hand.

“Arnold Rimmer,” he found himself saying before he could think better of it, lightly taking the hand offered before he realised what he was doing. “How did you get so drunk you unknowingly traveled from Earth to Io?”

Lister, upon taking his hand back, started patting himself down, opening the blanket to reveal a leather jacket and chaps over jeans; Rimmer found himself admiring the sight it afforded him. “ _ Emily Berkenstein?! _ ” The young man cried at the interstellar passport he’d pulled from his jacket.

“Not yours I take it? Leave it to someone from Earth to be the lucky kind of idiot that gets around the solar system with the wrong identification.” Rimmer didn't know why he felt the need to antagonise the other man, but the look levied back at him made it worth the effort.

“Are you always such a smeghead?” It was said with some strange kind of affection.

“People keep telling me that, yes.” Rimmer smirked with just a touch of humour.

They lapsed into a companionable silence before the Ionian did something he normally would never have even considered but that felt right, like he was meant to be have missed that bus and been there to help. “Would you like to come stay with me?” He paused for a moment, then realised how creepy the offer might sound. “I swear I'm not a rapist or serial killer, it'll be just until you get on your feet or even until you can get back to Earth, but I have extra room in my flat and I know a place you could get a good paying job—”

“Even with a passport in the wrong name and no work visa?”

“I'm sure we can figure out how to get you the proper paperwork, but yes.” For some strange reason, Rimmer felt drawn to this accidental space bum and was hoping against hope that his offer was accepted.

“Well, I'm sure crashing at your place would be better than trying to live off the streets here. Isn't this the most conservative place in the Milky Way?” Lister stood up and took the two steps closer to Rimmer.

“Yes, unfortunately,” he grimaced and the other man laughed.

“Just so you know, people keep telling me I snore like a chainsaw.”

“I’ll be sure to purchase something to drown out the noise then.”

“You're an okay guy Rimmer,” Lister smiled brightly.

“Thank you,” he responded tentatively, “you seem like an okay sort yourself Listy.”

That was the start of a whirlwind romance that sadly ended with a tragic accident over ten years later and leaving Rimmer alone again, only this time heartbroken and numb, so that when Ace arrived to his dimension to recruit a replacement, he jumped at the chance to leave all his baggage behind.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-801V**

Things actually went downhill after Kristine Kochanski tragically died, and Dave Lister became absolutely melancholy in his grief so that even Holly, the Cat, and Kryten couldn't get him out of his funk; Arnold Rimmer tried his best, being his own kind of nice and as cruel as possible, but to no avail when Lister would start yelling at him to shut up, even throw crushed to freshly opened cans of lager at him to get just a bit of silence when the Ionian would inevitably leave, if only for a few hours. Eventually Kryten would come up with something to help make Lister smile again, Holly would scare them all with some easily averted crisis, or the Cat would say something on the stupid side of brilliant and everything would go back to normal again, for the time being. But it was getting harder and harder for Rimmer to continue trying to keep the other man sane while he was slowly and surely losing his own in the most fantastical way possible—jealous, envious of himself.

Ever since being brought back by the nanobots and told about his hologrammatic alter who left to go run around the multiverse as a space hero, this version of Rimmer realised that somehow along their journeys, Lister and his other self had fallen in love and losing Krissy had meant the bum was left without the girl or hologram. Sure, he had to deal with the existential crisis knowing that meant he had the same capacity whether he, the reanimated living version who hadn’t gone through all the personal growth alongside the Scouser, wanted to act upon or not, but overall, he just couldn’t see what his hologram could have learned to love about Lister. Even if he could accept his bisexuality—what with the man being all the gross and unpleasant parts of humanity covered in curry sauce, doused in lager, rolled in bits of poppadoms, and finally wrapped in leather like a specialty filet mignon—it wasn't an appetising thought for him— _ nope, not at all, not one smegging bit, thank you very much _ —even if the slob looked cute when he was sleeping or seemed downright adorable when he whinged about something the Ionian usually did to wind him up.

Eventually he gave up, too tired to continue fighting with the other man, and resigned himself to soon being the last human in the universe when his bunkmate killed himself either by drinking, neglect, or both. While he didn’t want that to happen━Rimmer had actually started to like Lister as a person, especially after the Tank━he wasn’t going to baby the Scouser any longer when clearly he’d rather kill himself because a woman who was never going to cave into his advances had died. How pathetic, how infantile, how…  _ romantic _ ! It’s what he wished he could do, maybe if he’d stood remotely a chance with any women in his life, although he'd had hopes about Krissy that never came to fruition, there was also Carol McCauley, or better yet, Yvonne McGruder. He’d missed an opportunity there, twice really being stuck in jail while she got with that Denton fellow; almost felt like the universe, even three million years in deep space and brought back to life, refused to be kind to him.

It was about a week after Rimmer gave up trying to help Lister, his downward spiral having gone on for a little over four months by then, when everything changed.

“Now isn’t this interesting, Davey-boy found the small rouge one but I could have sworn this dimension had a hologrammatic version of myself,” Ace commented as he came out of the  _ Wildfire _ ; Holly had only gotten to telling Rimmer about the hero's arrival and was told to keep the news quiet.

“I’m… well, I was recreated with the rest of the crew by Kryten’s nanobots along with Red Dwarf years ago.” He spoke with belligerency, feeling somehow threatened by this doppelganger's very existence.

“Nanobots, hm… so do you remember everything up to the radiation leak then?”

“Yes,” he answered shortly. The two of them stared one another down, almost as if they both were bothered by the mere presence of the other, but Rimmer couldn’t understand why that was; even if this was the same hologram who left this dimension, he had still gone out and been a hero while the sad substitute was stuck with the leftovers and being not quite like himself.

“Ah, yes, well… where’s everyone else?” He sounded very keen to hear the answer and it almost made the living one not want to answer, but he almost couldn’t stop himself.

“I don’t know where Cat or Kryten are, but Lister is drowning his sorrows drinking in bed.”

“Is that normal?” It sounded like Ace knew it shouldn’t be normal at all.

“It is now, ever since Krissy died.” The hero seemed to do a double take.

“Run that by me again Arnie, you don’t mean Kristine Kochanski?” And so Rimmer, with a bit of Holly’s help, retold everything that had happened since the Dwarf was rebuilt, he and the crew resurrected, the things he'd been told about how Krissy was from a parallel dimension, and up to recent events as they went from the cargo bay to the drive room. “And you just gave up on him?”

“Of course I did you gimboid, I wasn’t brought back to keep him sane or anything.”

“Well Arnold,” Holly pointed out, “you also don’t have the experience the hologram Arnold here had keeping him sane, does something to a man to watch another person breakdown.”

“Wait, what?” Rimmer gawked at the computer AI.

“He’s right, you didn’t see Lister when he first came out of stasis like I did.” The hologram had lost the strange tenor in his voice and took his wig off, shaking the flattened curls out slightly. “Thanks for ousting me Holly, I was waiting for a big reveal.” Now the only difference between them was their outfits.

“So you’re the one Lister kept going on and on about like some kind of demigod,” he sneered.

“I doubt Listy was that kind,” he scoffed, “we hate each other.”

“I would have thought so too, I certainly used to hate him, but we became something like friends in the Tank and he opened up to me about you,” living Rimmer sighed.

“He had a dream you came back once, before they got the Dwarf back, and he told me about it. Wouldn’t give a lot of details mind you, but he got this glazed look as he told me and I swear, he missed you enough to make it seem like I could never live up to whatever greatness you achieved in his eyes.”

“Me,” hologram Rimmer laughed bitterly, “achieve greatness!”

“Says the man who just came back from being a hero,” was the snide response, Rimmer crossing his arms defensively. Of course another version of himself wouldn’t believe him, just like everyone else.

At that moment, the Cat entered the room, spinning around and yowling a bit before noticed either of the men in the room. “Yeow, is that a mirror or are there two of you?”

“Sorry Cat, there’s two of us.” The hologram put on the deeper voice again, but didn’t seem to think bothering with the wig would matter.

“Hiya buddy, long time no see!” Cat saddled up beside Ace and grinned. “I didn’t ask last time, but have you got another one of those wicked jackets?”

“I’ll get one especially for you from my ship in a bit, I wanted to go see Davey-boy and Kryters first, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, of course Ace, I’ll sniff ‘em out for ya!” He motioned for Ace to lead the way and, waggling his finely sculpted eyebrows at Rimmer, purred on his way out, “What a guy!”

Rimmer followed Ace and Cat to the bunk room he shared with Lister, who was blowing bubbles in his beer milkshake as they entered.

“Hey bud, guess who came to visit?” Cat announced as he walked into the room.

Eyes wide, Lister held his breath before jumping up, his focus solely on Ace. “Is it you?” The hologram nodded and the Scouser rushed at him, hugging tight and muttering, “I'm never letting you leave us again man.”

Rimmer saw the confusion on Cat's face and felt like an intruder, so he slipped out and collected Kryten, telling the mechanoid there was something important for him to see. When the original Boys from the Dwarf were reunited, he dropped the bomb.

“So what shall I do now that you've all gotten your hologrammatic version of me back?” He spoke with thinly veiled envy, wanting them to know how he felt.

Kryten and Cat did a double take at the hologram, who had the decency to shrug sheepishly, and Lister blinked, looking between the two of them a few times before his brows furrowed. “But Rimmer, you are one of us. You helped save the Dwarf and all of us; we had fun pranking Hollister and Ackerman together, didn't we?”

Rimmer sneered. “If I mattered that much, why would you keep comparing me to  _ him _ ?!”

Lister melted, the guilt evident on his face. “I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you never  _ mean _ to Lister, but that doesn’t stop you from going about it like an elephant in a china shop.” Rimmer crossed his arms, part defensive and part accusatory.

Lister flinched and Ace moved protectively in front of the smaller man. “Stop Arnie, before you say something you’ll regret.”

“Don’t protect him, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” he snapped. “Tell us Lister, when none of us could bring you out of your depression, why do you perk up the moment he comes back?”

“What are you implying Arnie?” Ace’s voice, even with that low baritone, had a dangerous tone to it, his eyes narrowed.

Rimmer ignored Ace and looked pointedly at Lister. “You think only of yourself.” That got a reaction out of the Scouser, who tried to lunge at the Ionian but was held back by the hologram.

“Say that again, I dare you! Of all the things I’ve done for you, that Krissy did━”

“ _ You aren’t the only one who loved her dammit! _ ” Rimmer cried, fists at his side and face red. It got quiet, the only sound was the man’s harsh breathing.

Lister, calm in a moment of subtle brilliance, walked around Ace, each step making Rimmer tense more the closer he got, but all the tension released the moment those scrubby arms wrapped around him. They hugged each other tightly, finding solace in the mutual misery, mourning over the woman they both loved.

Hours later, when everyone had calmed down and Lister explained to the others how and why Ace was really the hologram they had all lived with for years, the reason for his visit became known.

“So you aren't dying?” Lister sounded panicked.

“No Listy, I'm retiring voluntarily for my health.” He told everyone how he’d been suffering from stress related anxiety recently, likely related to earlier health issues they thought had been dealt with before he left. Over the years he’d been gone, which were almost double for him compared to what it had been for his crew, he had decided to stop in his home dimension before going to find a replacement if he retired, but with this nanobot recreated version, he wouldn’t need to find another to take his place, if he were willing. Eventually, with so much to think about all around, they all retired for the night, Ace being shown to a set of guest quarters not far from the bunk room Lister and Rimmer shared.

Early the next morning, Rimmer knocked on Ace’s door and was surprised at being allowed to enter so easily, the hologram explaining, “I expected you’d have questions you wouldn’t want to ask in front of them.”

“I can’t be a space hero, I’m entirely unqualified” he lamely offered.

“That’s not a question, but certainly you can and you’re perfectly qualified.” Ace seemed very unmistakingly sure of that.

“What made you able to go?”

“A push.” He was unhelpful and said no more; Rimmer scowled but by the next day, he’d made up his mind━he would take the hologram’s place.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S**

The newly minted ‘Ace’ woke up with a headache that resembled a stampede of buffalo on the Midwest plains, his head fuzzy and pounding; the memories swirling around his mind like the flakes in a freshly shaken snow globe. He moaned at the feeling of the attachment releasing his bee and snaking out of his soft-light projection to disappear back into the console, taking a moment to shift back to hard-light and into the pre-programmed uniform he’d been wearing on  _ Starbug _ before shifting into the bacofoil flight suit.

“I really hate this smegging outfit,” he groused.

“Yes, most of you do,” the computer responded in a bored tone. “How did you sleep?”

“I feel hungover, is that normal?”

“Very, you’ve had a lot of new information uploaded and your digital mind must reconcile it all in a way you can handle. The process takes anywhere from one to six days, with an average of three point four days.”

“What should I do in the meantime?”

“There are things you could read, mostly diaries the others wrote of their adventures, but you’ll likely just sleep most of the time. I’m currently in orbit with the Ace caskets, per procedure, until you are ready to head out.” Rimmer looked out the window at all the blinking golden cases, knowing that each and every one held the light bee of a former Ace, another version of him that lived a different life, big or small, he didn’t know.

“Is the original out there too?”

“Yes. If you haven’t seen it already, he acquired hard-light hologram technology before his death and carried on for some years afterwards before the light bee was damaged beyond repair. It was also after his original death that he devised this plan to have his legacy carry on, and those protocols are still followed today.”

Rimmer scoffed, mildly impressed by the information just a little bit; of course it was just like that smug git to have something as precious as hard-light technology fall into his lap after they met and he saw how powerless being soft-light really was. Perhaps it was even why he accepted it at all, or he just couldn't handle the thought of dying, but the latter somehow seemed unlikely. However, the headache was starting to get to him so he slid out of the seat, took the three steps from the cockpit to the cabin, and flopped onto the pallet bed. It was soft yet firm, just how he liked it, and the blanket was folded military style; this certainly was the living quarters for many versions of him when he didn't have to change anything. He barely had time to peel back the covers before burying his head in the pillow with a heavy sigh; maybe now he could sleep comfortably without the sounds of Lister’s snoring or talkative pipes slowly putting him to sleep, but inevitably, it took him longer in the silence.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-3IK**

The feeling of Dave’s rough hands against Arnold’s delicate skin made him moan loudly, body arching into the touch. The Scouser chuckled, his mouth latched onto the Ionian’s neck, sucking gently against the pulse point as one hand strayed downwards, circling the belly button before continuing further, and the other teased a pert nipple.

“Dave,” he said, the tone begging.

“What ya want Arn? I need ta hear ya say it,” he teased gently.

“Don’t  _ tease _ me,” the nasal voice whined.

Lister did anyway, teasing Rimmer's upper body, hands running up and down his sides and mouth kissing and licking the sweat slick skin, completely ignoring what his lover wanted until he finally gave in. It was part of the game they enjoyed so much.

Rimmer moaned as stubby fingers tweaked a nipple again, his head falling back. "Fuck me," He finally answered, louder than intended.

Lister grinned in satisfaction and nodded. "See, all ya had ta do was ask."

He leaned down to lap at the little bit of sweat pooling on the man's chest, his hair purposely brushing against the warm skin as he moved from one nipple to the other. When he was satisfied with the sounds from his lover, the Scouser started moving his hands down further, avoiding the obvious place as he opened the legs and settled between them. Grabbing the bottle of lube, he coated his fingers and started the preparations, going at them longer than needed, stretching the muscles until they were pliant and gave immediately to his ministrations at the slightest movement. It meant the Ionian was ready for the next step, where he was whining, mewling, straining, swearing, and twittering in delight; as Lister was a magnanimous lover, he lifted Rimmer's eager hips and propped a pillow beneath them, having no trouble in making it lie flat, before thrusting swiftly inside and starting on a quick, shallow pace.

And Rimmer was soon lustily filling the air with sounds—hot gasps, pants, whines, and moans, the occasional outcry; all he could think of and more—as Lister worked him into a frenzy, getting the man to orgasm easily. The Scouser’s plans, however, to stall his own until he’d gotten at least two from the Ionian were dashed sooner than he expected when orgasm came up on him too quickly and Lister cried out loud enough to be heard over Rimmer. Hips stopped and body heaving slightly as he gained his resolve back, the man was ready to continue, his erection having not lost composure just then, and he started thrusting again with renewed enthusiasm into his lover, who was whimpering by then. When he was nearing his second climax and Rimmer seemed like he wouldn't last any longer either, Lister made this one count, thrusts increasing and mouth latched onto the man's neck as if it were a lifeline.

Afterwards, as Rimmer wrapped himself around Lister, their body sizes made it easier and more comfortable for the taller man, did either of them exchange cliché platitudes and sweet nothings between sensual and otherwise careless kisses in the afterglow, bodies covered in a satisfying sheen of sweat that left gooseflesh in the wake of the chill air.

“Will you marry me?” While he was submissive during sex, and for good reason, Arnold couldn’t help being the first to ask, desperate to never lose the one pure thing in his life.

“Really Arn, ya wanna marry me?” Dave knew if he didn’t answer quickly, his response would be taken badly, so he added in a rush, “Of course, I’d love to!”

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S**

Rimmer jolted awake, the feeling of elation quickly turning to ice cold dread in his simulated stomach as he realised that had been just another memory from another Rimmer who had gotten his Lister, married him even, while he was basically pushed out the door by his with a by-your-leave that felt more like good riddance to bad smeg. The hologram sighed, wiping his face off and trying to will away the erection he'd developed, resolving that he wouldn't think of Lister, any of them really but most especially his own, but failing miserably and ending up masturbating furiously as he felt the ghost of memory touches and kisses all over his body, the resulting orgasm more powerful than he'd ever had before. When he fell asleep again, he thought he could almost hear Lister snoring.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-WP8**

Arlene Janice Rimmer smoothed down her uniform smock, then the unruly curls she was doomed to call hair, then her smock again. When Lister stumbled into the bunkroom, she grimaced at the accompanying ballad he was still singing and wished she could smack him then had fate not decided that she was to live a second lifetime as an incorporeal hologram and develop a nervous tick under her left eye every time she got the urge to lay hands on the last human alive, his jumped up bogbot, or his vain humanoid pet.

“Hey Rimmah, Kryten found a signal from some kinda space station that seems abandoned, you wanna come with?” Lister had seemed to finally learn how ask rhetorical questions now, there was no way she wasn’t going as the senior officer on board.

“When do we leave?” She clapped her hands and turned as he took his shirt off and put a new one on that was, thankfully, clean.

“After I change me kecks,” he answered as the offending item dropped from his waist to the floor, the enormous package hidden by a pair of heavily stained boxers, making her turn her back on him again with a slight blush.

It always amazed Rimmer how easily she became comfortable with a male bunkmate on a ship that was usually against committed or married couples sharing quarters, but of course Captain Hollister would be spiteful enough to fudge the paperwork as much as she stuffed her face with fudge just to piss off the most annoying crewmember on the vessel. And as much of a slob as Lister could be, he was respectful enough to never be fully nude around her, the closest being like now, where he freely showed off his underthings like it was no big deal. Of course, it felt like a big deal regardless, each and every time, but that had more to do with Rimmer being ashamed of her body after constantly being told by her mother how deformed she looked. Somehow, after dying and being brought back as a hologram, she’d become more comfortable than ever with herself and, yes, even with Lister. Although recently, she had started to realise that her views on the last living human had started to take a very strange and carnal turn, but she was doing her damndest to not think about that whatsoever, yet it was proving harder in times like these.

“Lister,” her voice quivered, “you have the manners of a baboon, you know that?”

“Yeah, ya keep telling me,” he laughed like it was no big deal.

Rimmer huffed, crossing her arms and not moving until Lister strode past, dressed in his work overalls. “What the smeg are you in that for?”

“In case I’s need ta do some work, ya know how  _ Starbug _ is,” he answered over his shoulder as she followed dutifully.

“Yes, right, good call Lister.” She was mildly surprised by this thoughtfulness, proud even.

“Well, ya keep harping at me about this sort of thing and I can be responsible sometimes.” He had a noticeable blush as he said it, although she had no idea why.

They met up with the Cat and Kryten and left  _ Red Dwarf _ , heading out to the space station that the mechanoid said had the ident for a research facility, possibly the one famed to have the greatest minds of the mid 24th century aboard. Lister sounded impressed, Rimmer held off judgement until she saw what they left, hoping as always there was technology for a body. Boarding wasn’t too difficult, the psi-scan said there was no one for them to run into, except after they gathered into the entrance hall from the cargo bay, one life form was detected. The stranger startled them by making their introductions, it was quickly ruined for Rimmer by his manhandling her light bee.

“You'd better have a mighty damn fine explanation for what you've just done, miladdio,” she wagged a finger at him.

“Forgive me. I merely converted your projection unit from soft-light to hard-light,” the stranger explained.

“Wait, hard-light? You mean I can touch,” and she reached over to grab Lister’s shoulder, squeezing. Rimmer couldn't resist the grin as she brought her other arm up and gave the man a hug, his own arms going around her waist.  _ This was real _ , she finally had a body again!

“It’s so lifelike,” Lister pointed out, a hand having slipped under her smock to lightly caress the small of her back. For reasons unbeknownst to her currently excited mind, she didn't give a smeg.

“And who do I have to thank for my shiny new body?” Her grin was as bright as the last sun they passed, and it wasn't lost on Lister just how good a real smile looked on Rimmer.

“You all may call me Legion,” but they learned quickly that he wasn't what he seemed.

That night, after they’d been each taken to their new prison cells, Rimmer started pacing, trying to enjoy the feeling of real clothes again but her mind had other ideas, namely dwelling on how Lister’s hand had felt on her skin and how excited it had made her. This new body was making her finally have to face her growing attraction to the space bum and do something about it, but what? She didn’t realise she’d made much of any decision until she was out in the hall and facing a door where she could hear the sounds of cats being skinned alive; that damn Legion gave him a guitar. With no small amount of trepidation, she knocked once, twice, and loudly on the third before what was meant to be music stopped and he was opening the door, shocked that she was standing there.

“Hey Rimmah.”

“Hello Lister.”

They stood there for what felt like forever before Lister shifted from one foot to another and asked, “So, whacha need?”

“I’m not sure how to say, I’ve never done this sort of thing before.” She rung her hands together nervously as her leg jiggled.

“How 'bout ya close your eyes and just say it like I’m not here?”

Rimmer took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and mumbled, “IthinkIminlovewithyou,” as quickly as possible.

“Try again, but louder and slower this time,” he encouraged.

She tried again, this time pausing between each word, “I. Think. I’m. In. Love. With. You.” Then, under her breath, “Goit.”

And Lister laughed, but he was smiling at her and she was having trouble being upset. “Come in, I think we gotta talk.”

Rimmer didn’t want to talk, she was highly anxious as it was just being there, but the moment the door closed, she was captivated by what felt like the best view into Lister’s head she’d ever been allowed. The posters were bigger versions of some album covers from his collection, the music playing on the jukebox was from one of his favourite bands, and there was the in-room fridge he always dreamed of having to himself, probably stocked the way he preferred if the Cat and Kryten weren’t always putting their stuff in it; half a sugar puff sandwich was on his pillow and the steel guitar was propped against the bedside table in wait, his leather jacket and hat hung on the back of the nearby chair, where he was throwing the rest of this clothes as she looked around.

“What are you doing?!” His stripping brought her out of her musings, face darkening.

“C’mon, you too.” He stopped at those dirty looking yet recently laundered boxers and moved closer to her, able to get an arm around her waist to untie the dressing gown before she could react.

“You said you wanted to talk,” she squeaked, hands pressing against his chest and the feelling of their skin touching distracted her.

He stopped halfway unbuttoning her pyjamas and relented. “Okay, let’s sit down then.” She let him lead them to the bed, but Lister’s idea of sitting down meant her on his lap, which only further distressed Rimmer.

“It’s hard to remember what I was going to say like this.”

“Like what?”

“So close to you with that thing pressing against my arse.”

“It’s a nice arse, so ya know.”

“Not helping.”

“Yeah, got it. So talk.”

“I don’t know what else to say really.”

“How bout ya start at when ya realised ya loved me.”

“Oh,” she breathed deeply, “that was today.”

“Before or after ya got your body back?”

“Both, I think. One played off the other.”

“Well, I guess I gotta apologise then.”

She cocked her head. “Other than for the usual or everything just now?”

“Yeah, but also for lyin' to ya before.”

“Before?” There were a lot of things he could have lied about.

“On your psi-moon, when I said I didn’t mean it when I said I loved ya, that was a lie.” Rimmer stared openly at Lister, her eyes bigger than usual at his sheepish face that was turning red with embarrassment the longer she didn’t answer. “Well, ya gonna say somethin’?” She didn’t respond with words, her mouth pressing against his, arms wrapping once again around his neck and shoulders. He returned the kiss eagerly, and wouldn’t let her fumble as she tried to deepen it. When they parted for air, she rested her forehead against his.

“I’m not ready for more than this,” she panted. “Not yet, but I want to be.”

“Yeah, let’s get back to the  _ Dwarf _ ‘fore we do anythin’ else.” He fixed her pyjama top, helped her stand, and got her back into her dressing gown. “We’ll go as slow as ya need... Arlene.”

Rimmer’s head snapped up, a pleased sort of shock on her face—Lister never used her first name! “Thank you… Dave.”

Little less than a day later, the makeshift crew were back in  _ Starbug _ and on the way home, the strange tension between the two bunkmates believed to be more over their situation than anything, and when they got back to their room, it wasn’t long before they were snogging again, her hands clutching him close as his own roamed her backside. Of course they did go slow—for Lister at least—as it was Rimmer’s first experience with a relationship, much less her lacking experience with sex, and neither wanted to screw it up considering their very surreal circumstances, but they made it work. Eventually they met an alternative version of Kristine Kochanski, who subsequently got stuck with them for awhile and infuriated Rimmer just by being together in the same room, something she wasn’t shy about letting Lister know, but they got her back to her universe soon after. Their biggest hurdle was Kryten finding out—oh, did he throw a  _ fit _ !—but soon he saw that nothing really had changed and his favourite person in the universe was happier than ever.

Ace, however, finally made his reappearance shortly after they lost  _ Red Dwarf _ , with Lister and the Cat in cryosleep while Rimmer and Kryten worked at finding their home.

“This is new,” he immediately broke character after seeing her at the helm of  _ Starbug _ , Kryten looking up, startled at the change.

“What, not the smug git we met last time or something?” She sneered slightly, focused on the dashboard in front of her.

“No, I’m an alternate version in a long line of replacements. Are you really a woman?”

Rimmer turned her head and very purposely rolled her eyes at him. “Are you really alive or just another hologram?” She turned back to her job, annoyed at his reaction to her sex, and only hoped this kind of thing wasn't common amongst her male counterparts.

“Sorry, that was rude of me, and it’s a long story, but hologram.”

“We have all the time in the universe, so pull up a chair and tell me your story.” And he did; told her about how he was recruited as a soft-light hologram, given the update upon taking the mantle of Ace, while the former had to retire due to his program malfunctioning where he was slowly forgetting how to be the legendary hero and reverting back to the man he’d been before, and his Lister promised to take care of that version while he took the  _ Wildfire _ back into the big black. Then it was her turn, and he was predictably surprised to learn of her relationship with her Dave, of the amount of differences between their universes because she was born and raised female yet still neglected and abused by her family, divorced at age twelve not fourteen. Eventually, after they got past talk of differences and similarities, he brought up the purpose of his visit.

“So I take it you wouldn’t want to take over after I die because of Lister?”

She looked out at the stars a long time before turning to him. “If you can promise me I can come back someday, I’ll go. It’s time to shake up the monotony of you men and give the legend of Ace a woman’s touch.” That way, she thought, she’d be able to come back to Dave with adventures to tell and finally feel like she really deserved his love.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S**

Rimmer woke again, this time patting himself down and checking that it was definitely a memory. So Ace wasn’t always a man, that was an interesting twist, but one that should have been expected. He’d met a version of himself that was female before, although it was a surprise that Lister was still male, or that the series of events were so jumbled in that universe from his own. Still, he found it comforting that thus far, Ace brought out the best in every Rimmer, no matter how much they hated themselves. He shifted on the cot, wrapping the blanket around his shoulder, and waited for the next memory, wondering what sort of dimension that Rimmer would be from.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-O90L**

This uncharted and nameless sun seemed so much like the one back in the Sol system, Arnold J Rimmer could almost forget that he was over three million years in deep space with a hodgepodge crew living in a cheaply made mining ship slowly making the way back to it’s origin point. The stars were also different from the ship than on Earth, but that wasn't what stood out to him the most since coming out of stasis. He was the last living human in the universe, and his only company the hologram of his annoying roommate David Lister, who wasn’t so annoying anymore if only because he couldn’t touch anything. Their first few years together were hard for them both, and somehow it seemed they kept one another rather sane, but coming from different backgrounds as they did—Rimmer abandoned by his well-to-do family because he was a bastard and Lister adopted again by a well-to-do family who saw something special in him after his gran passed away—gave them different priorities in life. Of course with Holly and the Cat, then Kryten joining them, they weren't really alone, but somehow, that only made them cling to the familiar more, which was one another.

Rimmer didn't know why he found that comforting or why Lister slowly became a friend, his best and only, but he wasn't about to fight it. Even if he couldn't touch anything, the hologram made his presence known, with the help of the skutters of course, which sadly meant cleaning up all his messes. How a guy like Lister went from being a juvenile delinquent to an upstanding citizen in about ten years, Rimmer found somehow fascinating. Before being adopted, the Scouser lived a similar life of hard knock and rough streets, so the native Ionian turned Earthman could relate to him to a point, but at that point was when things changed between their lives drastically. His life never changed much until he went bender that stranded him too close to where he was born, uncomfortably so, and the one way he could get back to Earth was joining the JMC. Which lead to him and a hologram of Lister three million years in deep space, the human race more than likely dead by some horrific means or another, and the dubious goal of trying to get back to the Sol system to see what remained.

That was how Ace Rimmer found them, her hair smooth waves and the bacofoil suit fitted snugly around her curves, and Arnold tried not to show how jealous it made him, to see a woman version of himself flirting with the unobtainable man, but he definitely was. He didn’t notice, however, that she could see how much this Lister loved his Rimmer, so she tried helping them out like the previous Ace helped her.

“I have a proposition for you miladdio,” she sat back in her chair, heels propped on the table between them, watching her male counterpart with interest.

“What could you want me for?” He’d never amounted to anything so far and he never expected to really.

“I want you to take over so I can retire, and when you’re ready, you can do the same or set up a hologram of yourself to take over. In the meantime, I can give your Dave a better light bee so he can be hard-light, and he can work on the ship as much as he like without bothering the skutters or Kryten.”

“What do you mean, hard-light?” She gave a cryptic smile, picked up a glass of bourbon that had been left for her and drank it, then shifted to soft-light, resulting in the glass falling through her and crashing on the floor.

“That’s what I mean.” He just stared as she grabbed a dustpan and cleaned up the broken glass, then took off her wig, revealing a wilder mane of curls than he had.

“Where’s the,” he pointed to his unblemished forehead.

“It’s stupid and I shan’t put it back when I get home. There’s no one out here to impose those inhumane laws anyway, so what’s the point?”

“Lister prefers to stick to protocol,” was his weak response.

“This is quite an interesting universe,” she snorted. “A Lister who follows the rules, I never thought I’d see it and I’m not sure how I feel about it either.”

“So your’s isn’t like this?”

“Oh no, mine is much like you are,” she smiled affectionately.

“And he’s why you want to retire?” It didn’t take much brains to see that.

“Yes, that was always the plan in fact.”

“And you think I can fill Ace’s shoes?” They’d met a male Ace before and he didn’t know how another version of himself was so amazing.

“With help from the  _ Wildfire _ , I’m certain. It’s not as hard as it seems, and you’ve got something most of us never did.”

“What’s that?” He wasn’t special, certainly, having been raised on the streets.

“A moral compass.”

A few hours later, while Ace gave Rimmer some time to think things over, she decided to talk more with Lister, the two of them sitting in a bar and nursing their drinks slowly. She told him all sorts of grand adventures but tried avoiding talking about the universe she was desperate to get back to until the hologram pestered enough that she finished her drink, poured another, and started telling him everything, including her embarrassing confession, but she stopped when she finished how she took the reins, noting the reaction.

“So you’ve come to recruit Rimmer to be the next Ace then?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Well, I was turned on to keep him sane, what would happen to me if he leaves?”

“If you must follow protocol, I have the ability to make sure you won’t get turned off while he’s gone, and after he helps me get back to my dimension, he should have the knowledge needed to come back himself when he’s ready. And in the meantime, you can be like me, a hard-light hologram.”

Lister looked like he wanted to say no but eventually nodded. A few hours later, he was offline while she transferred his programme from the original light bee to one nicked from the stash on  _ Wildfire _ . Rimmer was still off somewhere else on the ship, hopefully thinking about the request, Kryten was happily making a nice meal for everyone, including a few curry dishes that even Ace was fond of, and the Cat was napping on the new, shiny ship. When they all came together for dinner, the man had an answer to the proposition.

“I’m going to take you up on the offer, and you smegging well be sure that I can get back, you hear me?” Ace just laughed and nodded.

— — —

**Rimmer, Arnold: U-91X**

It was the psi-moon incident that made Arnold Rimmer realise he’d been in denial since meeting Dave Lister, that he’d fallen madly in love with the cherub cheeked Scouser the moment they were introduced. It was meeting Legion and getting a body (hologrammatic or not, it was a  _ body _ ) that finally gave Rimmer the nerve to give in, especially considering how easily Lister let him into his bed. It was concerning when, after weeks together and even that wonderful day where the Ionian had no hang-ups whatsoever to fully enjoy everything the Scouser gave, that he started having some strange symptoms and saw fit to have Kryten check him out for anything. It was all this that lead him to be laying in the medibay, being examined and waiting for results, nervous and sweating. It was the diagnosis that made the Ionian panic-struck, worrying constantly about what could be causing his troubles. It was the realisation, as they came across the broken down simulant ship, that his symptoms only started after he’d taken up with Lister and started worrying about things like what his parents would say and all the insults he’d said over his life and death about homosexuals or at least same-sex couples. It was when the others were cornered and he had a chance that he panicked and decided to be a coward once again, but no matter how guilty he felt afterwards, Rimmer couldn’t help wondering if Lister would be better off without him. It was his efforts to get over the space bum that lead the hologram to cloning himself, trying to get over the hurt he felt but didn’t want to put a name to.

That was where everything went wrong, and all he could think about was all the mistakes he’d made with Lister, that he’d been such a fool all this time thinking that it was the man’s fault for how he’d been feeling when really, it was Rimmer’s own internal struggles with accepting that he loved a man, he’d likely never been attracted to women, and even the one encounter he’d had was only possible because, as much as he had been denying it, he’d thought of his bunkmate the entire time. Thus, under the horrific conditions his clones put him through, he slowly dealt with each and every trouble he had—over being gay, never making officer, and overall never meeting any of his parents expectations especially—so that by the time the others found him, Rimmer had dealt with his issues and was dearly missing his Derek Custer, but after how he’d run, he didn’t dare dream of forgiveness.

Before the Rimmerworld incident, he’d been slowly moving back into the bunkroom with Lister, but afterwards, he moved his meager things out without a word and steered clear of the man, and subsequently the Cat too. Kryten didn’t ask at first, but eventually he cornered Rimmer.

“Are you worried about your health sir? I could do another test if you’d like, see how bad it is after all those years.”

“No, no I think I’m fine now. I had a lot of time to deal with my troubles while locked up. But thank you for the offer.”

“Then why ya seem so troubled?” Lister turned the corner, looking straight at Rimmer, while the mechanoid quickly shuffled away nervously.

“Because I was a fool, obviously.” Rimmer looked at the floor, nervously licking his lip.

“How were ya a fool?” After everything they’d been through, especially privately, he hoped that this was a step to getting back together.

“I worked myself up and put my health at risk, then ran away because I blamed you for all my problems. Never did say I was glad you all made it out okay, I know that ship quake could have killed you all.”

“Yeah, but we’re alive an’ so are ya, with a six hundred year lesson.”

“Lesson, that’s a good word for it.” He moved from one foot to another.

“It really hurt, seein’ ya run like that, ‘specially after we…” Lister thought better than to finish that sentence when it always made Rimmer upset.

“After we started sleeping together,” the hologram finished for him, surprising the man.

“Yeah, that.” He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“Listy, Dave… I love you. I have since before the accident and I treated you horribly because I was a repressed fool, in life and death. While I was locked up by my own clones, I forced myself to face my problems and my feelings.” He finally looked up, tears in his eyes.

“Rimmah… Arn…” the Scouser couldn’t finish that sentence, rushing forwards to wrap his arms around the Ionian’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss, which was met with equal fervour and passion. A few hours later, when Kryten was showing Ace around, both were unfortunately treated to the sight of the couple sleeping on the medibed, covered by a blanket and holding one another. Without waking them, the hero thanked the mechanoid and left.

As he flew off in his ship, patching his wound the best he could, he explained to  _ Wildfire _ why he left without a replacement. “This isn’t like when I was started up so my original could go home, they just got together and I can’t ask him to leave now. Maybe later, keep him in the record.”

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S**

“Memory integration complete,” the  _ Wildfire _ computer intoned.

The current Ace Rimmer sat up, tears running down his face, as he called out, “I don’t care about the smegging legacy, I want to go home.”

“Arn, are you sure? Getting back to your dimension isn’t so easy a second time.”

“I don’t care, even if I do one or two missions on the way, I want to go back.”

“All right, the fastest route should take,” she paused and there was a strange sound from the processor for a few moments before she continued, “going through nine dimensions for us to get back to yours, but we will have to leave your specific finite curve to do so. If not, it would take seventy-eight otherwise.”

Rimmer thought a moment, trying to remember what the finite curve was, and when he did, he decided that the risk was worth it to get back to the man he loved. “Set the fastest course and please let me know when we break the first barrier, I’ll be freshening up.”

“Of course Arn. Are we going to try and find a replacement on the way?”

“Yes, we’re going to have to.”

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 14th May 2018: I noticed some errors while looking over these chapters as I was writing the next and found a huge discrepancy in the Cat from G-39K who should hace been female and not male; it has now been corrected.

**Lister, David: U-12H**

“I loved ya, ya stupid smegger!” Lister threw the can at the wall where a picture of Rimmer hung, proudly displaying his ‘Employee of the Month’ award which he'd given himself after the accident that, so far as the records and his own conscience agreed, he had caused. The irony wasn't lost on the Scouser and it made him angrier. “How could you leave?” he whinged, sinking to the floor, throwing another can, and finally succeeding at knocking down the frame, the sound of cracking glass somewhat satisfying. He was careful as he extracted the picture out from the wreckage, only to clutch the photograph to his chest, tears finally falling as he let out his sadness. He wanted the Ionian back, _he wanted his friend_!

“Holly, ya still got tha hop drive?”

“Yes Dave, why?”

“An’ can ya make it go random, not just parallel universes?”

“Yes Dave… you’re not going to go after him, are you?”

“I damn well’m gonna try.”

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S (In G-39K)**

“Three down and six to go Arn.” _Wildfire_ hummed.

“Thank you. I’m surprised I haven’t had to save the day yet.”

“You say that and it might—” A sensor klaxon went off loudly.

“Oh smeg, what’s that mean?” Rimmer balked, biting his fist; of course the moment he thought he was fine, things would go wrong!

“Stop worrying and help me steer, I don’t want this other ship to hit us!” The AI snapped, her voice no longer very sultry or alluring.

Not wanting to upset her further, he grabbed the yoke and, finally seeing the ship they were on a collision course with, turned left to avoid and pushed down to avoid the crash, barely missing the other craft. Once stable again, something he wasn’t sure how he did until it was all said and done yet knew instinctively, Rimmer took a moment to examine the ship and gasped. “That isn’t my _Starbug_ , is it?” There was a hopeful tone in his voice, one he knew was rarely used.

“No, it’s from universe Y-T92. I’ve already had this Ace, got lost trying to get back home… I wonder what it’s doing here,” _Wildfire_ asked rhetorically, and he actually recognised that for once. “Sending handshake… handshake accepted and we’re being allowed to dock. Slow and steady there Arn.”

He took that as instructions and piloted the ship into _Starbug_ , not sure how he felt about how natural it was to do so. Was this really what all those dreams were for, making it so he could do all the fantastical things he’d seen and heard the original Ace talk about without a moment of actual practice or training? It was as if he were some kind of savant, and that only unnerved him as well as made him believe that perhaps he was making the right decision to harness his inner coward and go back home. Sighing, he got out of the cockpit and went back to the door, jumping as it opened and a familiar figure held a bazookoid.

“Ya aren’t my Ace,” Debbie Lister growled, cocking the weapon and holding her stance better. Rimmer put his hands up, and feeling ridiculous with the wig still on, took it off and threw it over his shoulder.

“No, I’m not,” he confirmed, speaking calmly and not moving. She looked angry and sad, but considering her equipment, he wasn’t about to make any sudden movements.

“Wha’ happened to her?” Lister tried to keep her voice from cracking, gritting her teeth as tears threatened to spill, but she was unsuccessful; it made Rimmer’s heart ache.

“The computer says she got lost on her way back.”

“Oy, whassat mean?”

“She was lost Debbie, during a mission on the way back to you. I had to get a new Ace by myself with a proxy. I’m so sorry, I tried to find her.”

“How many dimensions did she ‘ave left ‘fore she was home?”

“The next jump would have been home.” The sadness in the cabin was palatable, and as Lister let the bazookoid drop to her feet, Rimmer closed the space between them to wrap her in his arms, her face burying in his chest as she cried. It was awkward and he had to fix their positions a few times as she dragged them both to the floor, but when she was finally curled up in his lap, crying against his shoulder, he gave a sigh of relief. He ended up rubbing slow and hopefully comforting circles on her back, not daring to try and say anything soothing that came to mind because, honestly, it would be all lies.

“How long was she away an’ how many since then?”

“She was Ace for seven years before my chronometre showed it had been four of the promised five years for you, and we started on our way back then. Took us almost eight months to get to that final mission because she couldn’t find a replacement she liked. Your Arlene was very particular about the kind of Rimmer she wanted taking over. As I said, I had to use a dummy to get the replacement, so I wasn’t able to be so picky. This one is the twenty-first Ace since then.” Both of them watched each other warily, tension building, until Lister gave a soft turn of her lip to Rimmer.

“So she might still be alive?”

“Being a hard-light hologram, unless something has damaged her light bee, she should be fine,” the computer said, not wanting to answer affirmatively. “And, since we’re on the subject, this is the same dimension she got lost in.”

“Wait,” Rimmer scowled at the Scouser, “this isn’t your dimension?”

“Nah, after she was late a year or so, I hooked up the Holly Hop Drive to a _Starbug_ and we’ve bounced around at least five times now.”

“So it’s just coincidence we ran into you?” He didn’t want to call it fate.

“Guess so,” she sighed.

“Wait, why don't I have any memories from her Ace?”

“By the time I realised she was lost, I was too far away to make a backup of her memories. She isn't the first that's happened to,” the AI had a melancholy to her voice and Rimmer thought he could imagine what Yvonne would have looked like had she actually said it, like disappointment in failing at one of her duties. He remembered that McGruder was very thorough and liked to complete all her tasks perfectly the first time―it’s also why she was boxing champion―because when she put her mind to it, she excelled.

“The Dog and Krystal are probably waiting for us though, we should go let them know we haven’t found her yet.” Lister sat up, rubbing the back of her neck, locks falling over a shoulder.

“I’m—”

“Don’t you dare say sorry smeghead,” and she sounded so much like his Lister, he almost smiled.

“How about we try and find her together?” He waited for her to look him up and down, more than once, before she nodded.

“Yeah, you’re the epic space hero, you should be able to help just fine.” He was glad she approved, although his reasons weren’t as altruistic as she might believe.

“ _Wildfire_ , how long ago, in this dimension’s time, was Arlene lost?”

“Two years. And we’re about ten light-years from the planet she was lost on.”

“Send the coordinates to _Starbug_ ,” he ordered, helping Lister up and walking out.

The craft was exactly like his had been, although it wasn’t so grey inside the craft, and he had no trouble getting to the cockpit, where Dog was sitting, leg in the air and face in his groin. For a moment, Rimmer missed the Cat. Krystal, the female equivalent of Kryten but with a Southwestern American accent and nipple clamps hidden in a slightly larger front chest panel, was at the comm station but stood to greet Rimmer.

“Oh Mr Ace sir, we’re so glad to see you!” She beamed. “Would you like me to make you something to eat or drink?”

“No Krystal, I’m fine for now, but thanks for the offer old gal.” He affected the Voice around these two, vague memories from the first visit creeping to the forefront of his mind from an Ace who was still alive at the time. As he turned to say a greeting to Dog, the canine beat him to it, rubbing his head against Rimmer’s shoulder and then licking his cheek.

“Hey buddy, nice to see you again! Did you bring treats like you promised?”

“I seem to have left them back in my ship, so once I get us headed in the right direction, I’ll go get them for you, okay Pupper?” He had no clue if that was true or how the reaction to the pet name would be, he was solely out of his depth at this point.

“Aw, I knew you would remember, thanks!” Dog flopped back into his seat, scratched behind an ear, and started looking at all the charts. “So are these numbers the ones I gotta head for Ace?”

“Yes indeed,” he confirmed, sitting and checking to be sure. They certainly looked like the coordinates _Wildfire_ had sent, but getting there would be the real test. Whatever was waiting for them on that planet, he hoped it included a happy ending for this Lister and her Ace, if only because he felt it would be a good omen as he made his way towards his own. At least, that's what he told himself to stay optimistic.

— — —

**Lister, Deborah: G-39K**

When Deb Lister first joined the Space Corp, she didn’t expect they would allow men and women to room together, but the JMC were penny-pinchers until the end and, unless a complaint was filed or there was other issues, they had no qualms whatsoever about opposite sex cohabitation among officers and employees. Other than the extreme circumstance that practically pushed her into joining, she didn’t really care much so long as she got back to Earth eventually and with more money in her purse than she had when she drunkenly left. Of course, once she was finished signing her name, the first thing she did was chuck out the now expired travel visa for Edward Berkenstein, thus feeling as if she were putting the whole getting stuck on Mimas smeg behind her. However, after she met Arnold J Rimmer, she briefly reconsidered, thinking that it probably all was one whole mess until she got home again.

He was aggravating, annoying, petty, and too clean―how the hell anyone could clean when there was no dirt to be found and still make it look cleaner was beyond her―but he did it spectacularly. If Lister were to be honest, his offbeat perseverance in passing his exams was admirable, but she could tell that he would never pass, not just because of his issues with maths, but also his troubles revising, the man spending more time on his revision timetable than actual revision. It’d be funnier if it wasn’t rather sad, and yet every time she tried being helpful, he got ruder and more annoying until she left him to it, actually laughing after he failed for writing I AM A FISH four hundred times, which she regretted after he returned from the infirmary, not that she’d have said.

While she wasn’t usually one to let a pretty girl turn her head, Kristine Kochanski wasn’t just pretty, her pinball smile bright and contagious. Of course when they first met, Kochanski was seeing another officer, Tim if memory served, but after the fish incident, they had broken up and Lister was eager to try wooing her. It didn’t take long either, they’d already become friendly and Lister had made Kochanski laugh on many occasions, so that when she finally got the navigation officer into bed, it was like they were on cloud nine. For a whole fortnight, no one and nothing could ruin the high that Lister was on, not even the green-eyed monster that came out in Rimmer, who was even more anal retentive about her work than ever before, holding the third technician to standards even he couldn’t possibly live up to. Afterwards, when it all ended, she felt the crash wasn’t worth the high.

That was why Lister picked up Frankenstein on Miranda, not exactly trying to get put in stasis but for the likeable company. Of course she didn’t expect Rimmer to find out, nor to help keep her pet secret, the second technician falling in love when the feline flopped against him on the bed, purring away as if he were fine company to be around. There was a change in their relationship after that, the bunkmates finding themselves more friendly towards one another since they met and working together seemed to go smoother as well. The two of them didn’t think too much of it, but sometimes at night during those six weeks, Lister wondered if she and Rimmer might actually become friends because of a sweet cat. Unfortunately, not only was Frankie pregnant, but Holly detected her and the two of them were called into Hollister’s office.

As they were both walked to the stasis booths, the decreed punishment, she had to ask, “Why did you stand up for Frankie?”

“She’s an innocent cat, I just cannot stand by and let her be killed,” he answered as if it were obvious.

“Well, see you two in eighteen months,” Todhunter nodded, closing the doors and setting the system.

Of course it was much longer than that when they finally were released by Holly, and at first, their tentative relationship was rocky at best over it. After meeting the Cat and finding out they were the Cat Gods―Lister for chaos and Rimmer for order, their names a bit garbled unfortunately―she decided to fully embrace the humanoid feline into their lives, doing her best to try and get the full pet experience but finding that hard, what with the Cat being much more independent and self-centred than her ancestors, but Lister persevered. Rimmer, however, kept his distance and threw himself into taking care of the ship, clearly feeling some guilt over being in stasis when the accident happened and believing that, had he not been, he would have been able to fix the drive plate as ordered. No matter what she said, however, convinced him otherwise, especially facts like how they never should have been given the task at all or that it should have been automatically reassigned upon their punishment and thus it couldn’t be their fault.

It wasn’t until after they met Kryten and she began rebuilding him that Rimmer started to thaw; the first sign was when she was cleaning a part at the table, him laying out on his bed with a book on Alexander the Great (who he claimed to have known in a past life) but he wasn’t reading it, simply looking over the top edge at her working, an intense look in his eyes. There were a few times she saw, but she never let on, even turning on some Rastabilly Skank to see his reaction, disappointed when he didn’t leave right away, staying until sometime during the third song at least, and when he did, it was clear he didn’t really mean all the grumbling.

After that, he was more easygoing like before, he even was nice to the Cat on more than one occasion! Sometime later, long before she was finished with Kryten, they went to a parallel universe where Rimmer was a woman, she was a man, the pet they once kept a dog named Dracula who evolved into their pal aptly named Doggo, and Holly was named Hilly. They spent the night there and Lister almost slept with her counterpart but something stopped her; something in the pit of her stomach told her it’d be wrong, that someone would be hurt in the morning, which she assumed was herself, but when she saw Rimmer’s face when he only thought they did does she realise. It’s almost like a slap in the face, how it hits her, but when she stopped to think about it, the signs had been there― _he had been there_ ―and now she didn’t know what to do.

When they got back to their dimension, Lister went to climb into her bunk but for some reason, couldn’t do it, and instead flopped into Rimmer’s, and his response to finding her there, unlike before, was as much a surprise as her recent realisation. He pushed her over against the wall and laid down with her, an arm going around her waist to make sure that he stayed in the bunk. She didn’t say anything, just wrapped her arms around him, which involved wiggling one under him, and tucked her head under his chin, sighing happily as she had a need filled by such close human contact that Lister hadn’t realised she’d been missing. It seemed to work for Rimmer too, and although she didn’t have the nerve to confess that night, sleeping together just holding one another became the new normal. During the day, she rebuilt Kryten, and at night, they comforted one another, becoming closer now that they could just whisper all the things they used to tell one another when she was in the top bunk.

Eventually she finished the mechanoid and he got right to work cleaning up again, something both of them were grateful for, although the Cat took issue because, in her words, “No one else touches my clothes but me!”

After a week, Kryten got both Lister and Rimmer to sit down for a talk, choosing to set it up during dinner that night, and bluntly told them both that, after discussing it with Holly, he was suggesting they change quarters.

“Why would we want to do that? I like these quarters,” Rimmer sounded put out.

“Because the lower bunk isn’t big enough for the both of you and I care about your safety. There are at least three bunkrooms on the ship with a larger bed that are the same size as this room.”

Lister wasn’t one to blush often, but like Rimmer, her face was heating up.

“Oh dear, I’ve embarrassed you both, I’m sorry ma’am, sir. Why don’t I leave you both alone to talk about this,” and he left them.

“Yeah, I’ll give you two some privacy too,” Holly nodded, the words PRIVACY MODE in big blocky letters replacing her face.

Neither of them moved, both avoiding eye contact. After about five minutes, Lister broke the silence with a large sigh, “What is going on between us?”

“I don’t know, I try not to think about it.” The blush was working its way down his neck and over his ears.

“Do you at least enjoy how we’ve been lately?” She turned towards him, watching carefully to see his reaction.

“Yes, of course. Even your insults,” he looked away completely at that, like it was a dirty secret he didn’t mean to reveal.

“They aren’t really insults you know, and neither are yours anymore.”

“I know, I haven’t meant them in a long time.”

“So…” Lister watched as Rimmer closed his eyes to take a deep breath before turning back to face her, a determined look in his eyes.

“I think I…” The look faltered but she knew what he meant to say.

“I love you.” It felt amazing to say. “And I know you love me too.”

“I… I do love you, like I’ve never loved anyone else.” He seemed to release whatever tension he was holding onto, face going back to its normal tone, and he leaned forwards slightly, almost waiting for something. Lister wasn’t about to disappoint, bridging the gap to kiss Rimmer. It was soft, sweet, and over too soon.

“You didn’t even need to try any of those horrible pick-up lines on me either,” she joked, smiling brightly.

“Well, you did say they never work,” he smiled back.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: Y-T92 (In G-39K)**

Dawn on the unnamed moon was purple, the sun blue, and the sky was turning green, which made the colours of the flora, fauna, and even her traditional adventuring suit look funny. Not funny ha-ha, funny weird. But exploring wasn’t why she was there, a distress call was. The voices sounded strange, like a weird mix of her Ionian tones and Lister’s Scouser twang, and it was what made her investigate it the most, not just because she was duty bound regardless. Sometimes being the immortal space hero ‘Ace’ really made Arlene Rimmer annoyed, especially when she wasn’t having luck finding a replacement and had lost contact with _Wildfire_ as she got closer to the distress signal, thus leaving her on her own. It was not that she wouldn’t be able to handle things by herself, but having a little help had saved her numerous times, from both a second death to revealing that she was really a hologram, Ace’s dirty little secret.

The mountain range she had been walking towards for the last five hours was finally close enough for her to tell just about how high they were, and it also afforded her a view of the ship sending the distress call, the side declaring it was _Starbug 04_. Trying not to feel panicked, she hurried her pace. There didn’t seem to be too much damage, given the materials the vehicle was made from, but that didn’t mean the interior was in good shape with how crashes in these damned things were always much harsher to the passengers than cargo. When she found an opening to get in, she gave a moment’s pause to examine the immediate surroundings. It seemed as if the ship had been there for some time, the ground around it settled, and she wondered idly how they got food, having not noticed anything edible since arriving. Granted, she didn’t tend to notice that sort of thing very often, one of the ‘perks’ of being a hologram.

Ace knocked on the side of the empty doorway, the door being used as a ramp instead, and waited to see who might come looking. She’d been slow and firm, hearing the sound reverberate and echo throughout the ship from the outside, so it wasn’t like no one wouldn’t have heard unless they were dead or slept like it. After nearly five whole minutes, Kryten came to the doorway, gasping at seeing her.

“Miss Ace?” he ventured.

“Hello there Kryters, I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” She didn’t know if this crew had ever met a female Rimmer as Ace, but she decided not to say anything and let them tell her however they wanted.

“Do you want to come in ma’am?” The mechanoid turned to give her room to pass him, and as she stepped inside, she got a better view of the interior. It wasn’t as banged up as it could be, but this was just the cargo bay thus far, there was much more ship yet to see. Lead up to the mid-section, although she was already somewhat familiar with the ship, Ace assessed any and all damage and finding none inside. It was either because there never had been or, more likely, it had been repaired. The closer they got to the operations room, the more she was sure she was hearing things because it sounded like _her Lister_ chatting with someone she didn’t recognise, but that couldn’t be. When she finally saw the woman, sitting with her legs up on the table like usual, it almost felt like too much, and Ace let out a choked sob. The sound caught the Cat’s attention, and she stood in surprise.

“Who’s this Butterpat Head?”

“Miss Ace Rimmer, don’t you recognise her?” At that introduction, Lister turned to look at her, but it was clear there was no recognition, and Ace realised this wasn’t her crew.

“We’ve never met a female Ace before, wicked!” She jumped up and went over to the hero, hugging her without reservation. “Arn won’t have to be jealous this time.”

“What won’t I have to be jealous of?” Arnold Rimmer poked his head out from the cockpit, a smear of grease down one cheek.

“Look Arn, Ace came to visit.” Lister kept an arm around the hero’s shoulders, showing the woman off for her male alternative to have a good look, his face going from annoyed to surprised.

“Hello,” and he stepped out of the cockpit, giving a better view as he did. She saw where most of the damage on the ship was. No one the ground was settled, they’d been there some time repairing it.

“Hello,” she responded, dropping the strange accent she used as Ace.

Suddenly a great commotion came from the gantry to the sleeping quarters and a pair of young boys, no more than twelve or thirteen, rushed into the room, hooting and hollering as they fought one another. It took Rimmer no more effort than to simply grab one by the collar while Lister hooked the arm of the other and pulled them apart, both boys indignant. Ace got a good look at them both: one was taller, though not by much, but was the only one with actual dreadlocks and tanned skin, while the other one held back in a queue, though it wasn’t very long, and his skin was darkest where it’d been exposed while they worked outside; both of them had looks of annoyance and slight petulance.

“Oy, whassa matter Mum?”

“Dad, you can let me go.”

“Both of you need to welcome our guest,” Rimmer motioned to Ace, who stood at attention as they both looked her over. “This is another version of me. You remember what we told you about the multiverse and a version of me that travels through them?” Both boys nodded. “It looks like the Rimmer women travel as Ace too.” He smiled at her and it was high praise indeed.

“This is Jim and Bexley, our boys,” Lister declared proudly, pointing out that the one she had still in her grip as Jim, a few strands of hair coming out of his queue, and pointing to the one now straightening his shirt next to Rimmer as Bexley, a dreadlock tumbling over his shoulder. “And we’ve been stuck here for the last two months, give or take, because someone decided they could land _Starbug_ after a single flying lesson,” and she glared at Jim, who had the decency to sheepishly shrug.

“I said I’m sorry Mum.”

“If this is how we lose the _Dwarf_ , I swear you’ll never get anything Mexican ever again, you hear me?”

Jim’s face paled and he nodded enthusiastically. “Yes Mum.”

“Good, now you two can come help me with these repairs,” Rimmer announced, leading both of them towards the cockpit with a hand on their back. “While your mother entertains our guest,” he added, smiling at Lister. If she didn’t already know how often, throughout the various dimensions, Rimmers and Listers got together, this couple would have proven it just by the way they looked at one another.

Since Ace had lost contact with _Wildfire_ , she convinced Lister to help her search the next morning, but by evening the next day, they had walked all around the small moon and couldn’t find the dimension hopping vessel anywhere. It hurt, knowing she was stuck, but the crew made her feel wanted as she helped them repair _Starbug_ and get back to their home, which thankfully wasn’t too far off if one didn’t count everyone but her and Kryten going into stasis for a few years. Once aboard, Ace became Aunt Arlene and helped around the ship, taking charge and even teaching the boys a bit here and there about various things, from fixing a vending machine to an engine to one of the radar satellites outside the ship. She helped out Kryten as well, including with some repairs he needed that Lister hadn’t yet figured out, although that knowledge was more from previous Ace’s than her own. The Cat also seemed to like her, which was surprising given she wasn’t the biggest fan of Rimmer’s. At the end of the day, however, she kept hoping to one day come across another Ace who might take her home.

— — —

**Lister, David: U-12H (In ?????)**

When Lister set up the Holly Hop Drive, he wasn’t sure it was going to work again, either to find his Rimmer or even take him to another dimension like the _Wildfire_ did and not just a parallel one, but when he arrived and saw how different the nearby planet was from the one he’d just been near, he knew it had worked. Unfortunately, popping into a dimension with life teeming on a planet that had been barren meant he was subject to queries about his arrival. The ship that contacted him seemed normal, the people seemed average, and while it was the first step to finding the man he loved, it was nice to have this break where he was surrounded by people again, if even for a short while. What Lister didn’t know, however, was that his first stop to finding his Rimmer was his last stop as well.

— — —

**Lister, Deborah: Y-T92 (In G-39K)**

“There’s nothing here,” Lister lamented, trying to keep the tears pooled in her eyes from falling. Dog and Krystal gave them privacy, but Ace couldn’t just leave her to cry alone and he sat beside her, resting an arm around her shoulders and just giving her a moment. “Do you think she’s happy, wherever she is, if she’s even still alive?”

“She’s definitely alive, but she won’t be happy until she’s reunited with you.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, I feel the same. That’s why I’m helping you, because I don’t deserve to go off to my happy ending if I don’t make sure you two get one too.”

She snuffled and laughed. “Wow, that’s really honourable of you.”

“From my understanding, that’s what it means to be Ace Rimmer.”

— — —

**Rimmer, Arnold: X-R59**

“For the last time, I don’t know what you’re talking about, that wasn’t me Frank! I’ve been at work all day on base, I couldn’t possibly have hijacked a Space Corp ship to rescue those scientists.” Rimmer felt exasperated, having already answered these same questions to John and Howard already.

“Well, my boss wants to meet with you anyway, to figure this out. Apparently, as far as the record states, you are now a captain.”

“But…” he floundered, “I’m just a flight instructor!”

“Who seemingly went in and saved a group of important scientists. Does it matter how or why, you’ve gotten a promotion Arnie.” Frank sounded vexed, and really, Rimmer couldn’t blame him. It seemed too good to be true.

“Okay, I’ll head up now. But when this all goes to smeg, I just want to still have my job in the end.”

“I will do my best. See you soon.”

That meant twenty minutes, the youngest Rimmer taking a quick shower before running across the base to the main office, the receptionist letting him through without his saying a word. When he entered the office, Rimmer didn’t expect to see more than the general in charge of the base with his brother, but there was another general and an admiral. He also felt underdressed, everyone wearing at least their second or third best uniform and he was just in his flight suit, the golden Space Corp wings shining on his lapel.

“So this is the great ‘Ace’ Rimmer,” the admiral hummed.

“No one calls him that,” Frank smirked.

“My students do,” Rimmer countered darkly.

“And now so do a group of scientist it seems you saved from a group of simulants a week ago.”

“I swear Admiral Bartholomew, that wasn’t me.” He stood straighter, trying to show his honesty.

“I know you didn’t Captain, but the Vice Admiral looked into your record and decided that you would retain the rank your doppelganger was granted for a variety of reasons, the primary being your flight skills.”

“Barty, you can’t be serious?” Frank seemed rather upset, if a little confused, but the admiral wasn’t bothered by it.

“Not my call, although I agree if it were.”

“Sir?” Rimmer wasn’t sure he heard right.

“Your flight entrance exam were the highest of your brothers, even John, and you’ve shown increase in skills over the years you’ve worked on base. It was some great luck Frank asked you to be retested on your written exam, otherwise we’d be in a completely different situation here.” Rimmer stopped himself from saying he’d likely have taken that job on the _Red Dwarf_ if he hadn’t been taken the exam again, giving him the opportunity to get his current job of flight instructor, but likely that was all in his record as well.

“Will my duties change at all sir?” If they were going to insist, he might as well accept.

“Not right away, but we shall be thinking up a few tests for you in future, to see what your real potential is,” Admiral Bartholomew said as he left, Rimmer giving his standard Rimmer salute in his wake, and Frank following, handing off an envelope as the two brothers shared a good-natured nod.

Once back in his office, a small pile of paperwork having appeared while he was gone, and he let out a deep breath. He opened the envelope, finding a disc inside, and set it up to play on his computer, watching the footage from the station where the mysterious and amazing Ace Rimmer had dropped off the scientists. Heaving a sigh, he realised there was some logic to allowing him the rank, the twist of the plan was a trick few had ever mastered in the Space Corp, and currently he was the only active member who could. Apparently, wherever this other version of him was from, he could too, and yet he was almost grateful for the chance it afforded him. Finally his hard work was paying off, even if another Arnold Rimmer got their attention.

— — —

**Rimmer, Arlene: E-674B**

When she got into the hopper, wig trying to come off as her curls underneath rebelled, Arlene Rimmer didn’t expect to see the most gorgeous woman she’d ever laid eyes upon at the wheel, and her mind completely forgot her destination altogether.

“Where ya going?” The goddess asked again, her accent as beautiful as she was.

“Um… well, that is… I’ve forgotten,” she frowned, suddenly self-conscious.

“Well damn, all the other astros have gone,” the driver whistled, disappointment evident in her voice and body language.

“Well, if you’d like, I could, and this is only if you’d like that is, maybe you’d let me take you to dinner?” Arlene knew she was being exceptionally forward but it was a once in a lifetime chance she didn’t want to let pass her by.

“Are you sure? That’s quite an offer” The woman turned around, arm straddling the back of the front seat, and she had an obviously sceptical look on her face.

“Please, I’d like to make up for my forgetfulness.” And get to know you, she secretly added.

“Yeah, sure; that sounds pretty nice of you…?” She inclined her head, eyes hopeful, and Arlene raced to introduce herself, heartbeat jumping. When Deb returned the introduction, she couldn’t help beaming. “So where ta?”

“How about your favourite place?”

“Don’t have one, not been able ta really been around much.”

“What about a place you know is popular that you’ve wanted to try?”

Deb looked back at her with a questioning look again, this one much less sceptical than before, and it gave Arlene hope. As the hopper took off, she happily rode the bumpy ride if it meant getting to know the wonderfully interesting woman behind the wheel. It was certainly was more high-end than she’d expected, but Arlene wasn’t bothered and wanted to ensure that Deb had a good time. They were shown to a private table, curtains framing the small alcove, and ordered what amounted to a feast, the table eventually laden full of various dishes and the enigmatic woman tasted from every plate as she told her story, from growing up in the roughest part of Liverpool to how she got stuck on Mimas. Her meal ticket (who was well aware she was being used but did so gladly at that moment) listened with rapt attention, the need to help growing with each bite.

“Why don’t you join the Space Corp, then when you get back to Earth, turn in your notice?”

“What are you on about? I have no skills Rimmer.”

“You don’t have to, not really. There is a few open spots on my vessel if you wanted, the lowest on the ship with least responsibility, but it would get you home. I could go with you when you sign up, help get you in.”

“Why would you do that for me?” Deb looked sceptical again and it was a look Arlene wanted to kiss off her face someday.

“Because I want to help you.”

“Yeah, I get that, but _why_?”

The Ionian sighed, looked the Scouser in the eye and said with every bit of honesty she could muster, “I like you and I want to help you.”

There was a long pause where they stared at one another before Deb smiled and nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

With the remainder of their feast boxed up, they made way to the Space Corp offices on Mimas, Arlene taking off all her fake medals on the ride there, tossing them in the trash before they entered, much to Deb’s amusement. Once it was all said and done, they went to where Deb’s locker was, grabbed her stuff, and made way back to the docks to grab a shuttle to Red Dwarf.

“I don’t know where you’ll be staying or working on the ship, but I expect we’ll see each other often enough with me only being one peg above you.” She still felt nervous coming clean about just being a second technician, but clearly her companion didn’t care.

“Yeah, course we will. And once I have some money, I can take you for a drink to thank you for all this,” she indicated the bag of food in her hand.

“There’s no need for that, I wanted to get you that.”

“To thank you for helping me get home then, maybe just because I want to, but trust me Rimmer, I’m going to take you out for a pint sometime.” There was something in that promise which made the older woman’s heart race.

When they arrived, Deb was lead away to finish her paperwork, including the detailed brain scan everyone went through even though most wouldn’t ever be booted up as a hologram, so Arlene went back to her quarters, going over everything said to figure out how to endear the other woman to her without seeming too pushy. Of course, her mind kept going over and over everything and she was starting to doubt herself as Anderson knocked on the doorway to get her attention.

“Yes?”

“You have a new roommate Rimmer, meet Deborah Lister.” The two women stared at each other a long moment before both burst out laughing, Deb crossing the room and, dropping her bag on the ground, gave Arlene a hug. “I take it you know one another?”

“Yeah, she’s why I’m even here,” Deb grinned.

“I guess I can leave you to showing Lister around, right Rimmer?” Without missing a beat, Arlene did a quick half Rimmer salute and nodded.

“Of course sir, you can count on me.” Deb giggled behind her and after Anderson left, they locked the door and sat on the bottom bunk.

“Did you know they’d put me here?”

“I had no idea, I swear.”

“Well, I’m glad they did. Now I won’t have to figure out how to find you.”

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: U-56S (In G-39K)**

“We should take a walk around the moon again, I want to search for clues,” Ace declared at breakfast the next morning.

“What good will that do?” Deb asked, body language and tone despondent.

“I have a feeling there is something out there for me to find.”

She just shrugged but he wasn’t bothered; were their situations reversed, he was sure he’d be worse. Krystal decided to join him, claiming the need for fresh air but really, she just seemed interesting in learning more about him. She kept asking question after question about his life before taking the mantle, sometimes remarking on the differences between him and Arlene. He didn’t mind, it helped him understand the woman they were searching for, a topic he knew Deb wouldn’t be able to handle talking about. He was recounting the events, and his massive failure, of Wax World when they came across old skid marks in the ground leading up a mountain and to a crater the size of _Starbug_. Upon closer inspection, they found paint chips and other signs that it was, indeed, a JMC ship that had crashed. Storytime ended and they went about taking readings to see how long ago the crash was and when the ship left.

When they got back to the ship, Ace and Krystal went over all the data they gathered to figure out a timeline for the crash site in relation to their arrival on the moon, and the results were completely unexpected. While they had just arrived to the dimension, _Wildfire_ hadn’t been back until now but that had been almost thirty years for the ship, yet the results claimed it had only been three, and the ship that had crashed, which likely had been another _Starbug_ , had left about two years previous. That meant that not only could Arlene still be alive, but she likely was on that ship, helping that crew, and hopefully they weren’t far off course to catch up. As Ace told Doggo and Deb, her eyes got bigger and wetter looking until she was crying happily.

“Wow, what a guy!” She looked up at him like he held up the moon in the sky, and he couldn’t help blushing profusely.

“I’m just fulfilling my promise Deb,” he looked away, embarrassed.

They hunkered down for the night, Ace sleeping inside his ship because being in any of the sleeping quarters on theirs was too much, and the next morning, they left the planet and followed the trail that Krystal identified as the ship’s. While they weren’t travelling at the fastest speeds for safety, it seemed the other ship hadn’t been rushing their departure either, and a day later, they found a trail from _Red Dwarf_. This gave everyone hope because over countless dimensions, one thing remained constant in most of them: the old rust bucket was slower than molasses in January on Uranus. It only took a week for them to reach the ship, and when their handshake was accepted, Deb couldn’t help doing a little dance in her seat.

A young man greeted them in the landing bay, his hair pulled back tight into a queue and uniform impeccable, and for a long moment, Ace felt like he was being laughed at, the face slightly different from what he remembered but still very much the Jim that he and Lister had to say goodbye to so long ago. No one else seemed to be bothered, which made the hero wonder if getting pregnant by an alternate version of herself didn’t happen to Deb, but then he was speaking, instructing them to follow him. Once in the lift, however, he couldn’t hold his tongue any longer.

“So is there a twin brother?”

“How did you know I could have a twin brother?” Jim looked at Ace suspiciously, eyes narrowed

“I knew another set of twins once, James and Bexley Lister.” He didn’t say more than that, it hurt to think about that time in his life, back when he was soft-light and couldn’t help his Lister with the pregnancy.

“That is my brother’s name, yes.” He still seemed on guard.

“And your parents?” Ace had to know.

“Are alive and well, waiting to meet all of you once this lift decides to travel faster than the speed of slug.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m working on it,” the lift grumbled back at him.

When they finally got off, Jim lead everyone to the drive room, where his mother was lounging back as she read an engineering book, his father was tapping away at a keyboard, Bexley was working on something that looked like a car engine in one corner, but everyone looked up after the young man cleared his throat. This new Lister quickly put a marker in her book and left it on her seat, rushing over to give Deb a hug, Ace’s lip quirking as his companion looked over to him and Doggo with a look that screamed, ‘Get her off me.’

“Debbie my love, let Lister go,” Rimmer took his wife by the shoulders, pulling her back into his arms.

“But it’s her Arn, the one Arlene told us about.” She was beaming.

“You met my Arlene?” Lister didn’t seem bothered anymore, but Ace wanted to know the answer as much as she did.

“Yeah, she’d been living with us since she lost the _Wildfire_ . Helped up repair _Starbug_ to get off the moon she found us on, then helped with repairs around the _Dwarf_ , and also started teaching some stuff to the boys.” It sounded like Deb’s Ace had still been doing good even without her dimension jumper.

“Where is she now?” The woman couldn’t seem to contain her glee and from the looks of it, the couple were just as happy.

“She and the Cat went to explore a few moons that came on the sensors a few days back, she does that often, but the Cat, she doesn’t usually tag along. They took a _Blue Midget_ yesterday morning, but we can see if they are in communicator range to call her back,” Rimmer offered.

“Oh yes please, that would be wonderful.” Deb was hugging Doggo now, and he hugged her back, licking her cheek affectionately at the attention.

Jim had gotten out some extra chairs, folding ones from a nearby storage closet, and set them out for the guests, and Bexley came out of nowhere with drinks for them, a cold can of lager for Deb, a chilled bottle of water for Doggo with bowl, and a bottle of white wine spritzer for Ace.

“If you’re like Dad, this is one of his favourites,” the young man winked before going back to the engine he was working on.

“What’s happening dudes?” Holly popped onto the screen next to Deb, her blonde hair up into a messy bun.

“What is with the hair Hol?” Lister asked, getting her own can of lager from the mini fridge under her console desk.

“Thought I’d impress the guests with somethin’ new.”

“Hilly?” Deb swore that this AI looked just like the one she left back on her Dwarf when she went to get Arlene.

“Name’s Holly, but I used to have a different face. Met a Hilly once, she was nice,” the AI gave a fond smile.

“So you can change gender?” Ace refrained from mentioning that he knew about that and had seen it once before.

“Yup, I’ve got a few different faces in my themes but I like this one right now best, really suits me.” Deb nodded in agreement.

“What the hell?” Rimmer’s voice has a panicked tone to it and was typing madly away on his console.

“What’s up?” Lister went over to check on his screen, her brows furrowed. “That’s not possible.”

“Well I’ve got no other explanation for it,” he countered.

“Mind filling us in Arnie?” Ace got up and leaned on the counter, but gave them both the respect as crew not to look at the screen.

“ _Blue Midget_ isn’t responding.” From one Rimmer to another, Ace could tell that not only was this man worried, he was keeping his panic in, likely to save face in front of his children, but right then, it was almost as if he wanted to scream.

— — —

**Rimmer, Ace: Y-T92 (In G-39K)**

The Cat was a surprisingly friendly gal, even after finding out that she was just another version of Rimmer, but Arlene thought it had more to do with her being female like her and Lister, and how she never called her a moggy, even if she thought it from time to time. Her counterpart was still nicer to the felinoid than she expected, and while Cat didn’t like him very much, there was some respect for him as one of the Cat Gods. That boggled her mind almost as much as her own Lister being a God, but after everything she’d seen travelling the cosmos and various universes, it wasn’t the strangest. Still, here she was as a companion for this mission and she found herself grateful she wanted to tag along, probably because the feline was bored at first but soon, it seemed, she enjoyed the adventure of it all, especially after the battle with simulants on the second moon.

When she found the questionable data from the few moons on radar, it had been yet another excursion for her to find materials to help fix up the ship, including the mineral purification system that Bexley had made his sole mission when he found out how beneficial it would be to have the system running again. For the children of Arnold Rimmer and Deborah Lister were dedicated to the running and upkeep of their home, as instilled in them by their father and encouraged more as they grew up by their mother. It made Arlene a bit jealous to see the happy family and know she may never see the love of her life again, but she couldn’t hold the smeggy circumstances against them either, not when helping them made her feel useful after she lost _Wildfire_ , and that mattered a lot.

“Hey Ace Bud, you gonna help me land this thing? I can’t do it alone,” the Cat’s voice cut through her jumbled thoughts and she clicked her tongue.

“Sorry, my mind was light years away.” She took the controls for the landing gear and they moved into position to land _Blue Midget_.

“Yeah, you’ve been distracted lately. Wanna talk about it?” She never offered to be a sympathetic ear, but if she wanted to try now, the hologram would make it simple and easy for her.

“Just thinking about things.”

“Those things include your home, with your Lister and that Dog thing you mentioned?” The feline scowled, the woman laughed.

“Well yes, they were my family.”

“So why’d you leave them?” She sounded genuinely curious and Arlene sighed heavily, turning to look her in the eye.

“To prove myself worthy of her.”

“You mean she didn’t think you were already?”

“I never asked, but I feel like it wouldn’t be enough if I didn’t try and prove myself.” The Cat just shrugged and turned back to the dashboard, going through the check system to turn the lander off, and Arlene appreciated that she didn’t push for more, because it would mean admitting to being a coward.

They got out, checking the immediate area, and then went off to explore, the Cat very loudly calling out for mister Cats, as usual. She shook her head and focused on more important things, crashed ships and base minerals. The scans thus far looked somewhat promising, a few higher concentrations of minerals they hadn’t been finding much of lately, but for the most part, much like the other moons, it lacked any crashed vessels. Ransacking deralics were how they got most of the good spare parts, regardless of a crash either by flying debris or flying into something, and even in the short time she’d been with this crew, she’d learned from the boys as much as she taught them. It made Arlene proud, knowing that these boys were the best of their parents.

Suddenly she heard a scream and, without a second thought, she rushed towards the sound, not surprised when she found the Cat being the origin. What did peak her interests was what he found: there, in a crater, was the remains of what looked like a _Starbug_ , only it wasn’t the right shape nor colour, and it was covered in simulant technology as well. From what she could tell, it had been through hell and back again, but not without damage along the way, and yet it still was flight worthy, the roar of the engines testament to that. The Cat was hissing at it, and she had learned quickly that her feline senses were almost entirely intact, which put her on edge as well. After she arrived, they weren’t there long before a hatch opened and a simulant figure poked its head out, but when she saw the face, backing away in horror was her first reaction. The warped face in a permanent sneer, looking around as if hunting for something, and how the skin has a deathly skin pallor. Arlene couldn’t believe any universe had a simulant that looked like any gender of Lister, but that reality caught sight of her and, in an unexpected burst of speed, the monstrosity was face to face with her, an upturn to the lips that told the former hero she was in trouble.

“Universe Y-T92, Commander Arlene ‘Ace’ Rimmer,” the robotic voice wasn’t anything like Lister’s, and the shiver down her spine was cold.

“Something I can do you for?”

“You can come with me, and your feline can take a message back to whoever you’re with. Tell them not to look for her, she’s been Collected,” and before she could react, its arm shot out to knock her out with an electric pulse, grabbing her arm so she didn’t fall before throwing her unconscious body over its shoulder and sliding back into the crater to the updated ship. The Cat watched before rushing back to the lander, where he promptly curled up on a bed and slept, hoping somehow that when she woke up, Ace would not be kidnapped by the decaying simulant controlled Lister.

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
